When They Teach Us

On Friday, I was told that a new child would be joining my group on Wednesday.

And, to be honest, my first reaction was, “Oh no…”

My group is doing so well this year. There is such a lovely atmosphere among them. They care about one another. They help each other out. They know each other.

And I started thinking about everything that having someone new join would involve:

Starting over.

Explaining routines.

Supporting him.

Helping him find his place.

And at that point, I thought, I hope this doesn’t change what is working so well.

But today, something happened that completely changed that feeling.

I told them that a new child would be joining us on Wednesday and that, out of all the Level 5 groups, they had been chosen because they were such good friends and so kind.

Then I asked them how they had felt when they first came to school, and their answers made me stop and think.

One of them said he had felt shy.

Another asked what “shy” meant, and someone explained that it was when there were lots of people talking to you at the same time, you felt nervous, and you didn’t want to talk.

Another remembered crying because he missed his parents.

Another girl said she had felt butterflies in her tummy — but not the good kind.

And then I thought that maybe they didn’t need me to explain how to welcome someone new.

They already knew.

They knew what it felt like to be the new kid and not know anyone.

So I told them something very simple.

The teachers would take care of the notebook, the portfolio, and the booklet.

But when it came to being friends, that was their responsibility.

And that’s when something happened that really touched me.

Ideas started coming one after another.

One said he would help the new child ask me for things in English.

Another said he would show him where the bathroom was.

Another said he would play with him at recess.

And another said he would show him where everything went.

And someone said:

“There’s a place for him at our table.”

I didn’t have to give them tasks.

I didn’t have to tell them what to do.

They started thinking about what someone coming into a new group might need.

And while I listened to them, something unexpected happened to me.

I started feeling excited too.

I wanted to welcome him.

I wanted to meet him.

I wanted to see how he would fit in.

They passed their excitement on to me.

And then I thought about something that happens to me quite often as a teacher.

Sometimes I think I am the one who has to hold everything together:

The atmosphere in the group.

The relationships.

New situations.

Conflicts.

Emotions.

And perhaps part of my job is also to trust them and give them room to take care of some of these things themselves.

Not everything needs to be handled by the adults.

There are things they can begin to take care of on their own.

And when I give them a real responsibility, when I let them know that I trust them, they often surprise me.

Today, my students reminded me of something I already knew, but needed to feel again:

They can do much more than we sometimes give them credit for.

And perhaps that is also part of teaching.

Not only showing them how to care for others, but trusting that they can do it.

And allowing ourselves to be surprised by what happens when we give them that space.

A new child is joining us tomorrow.

And now I feel calm.

Because I know he is not simply joining a class.

He is joining a group that is waiting to welcome him.

And now I have the feeling that everything will be all right.